Productivity

Amazing what you can get done in a weekend when you put a bit of effort in, and are willing to ignore the aches and pains afterwards. My driveway is now more than 50% complete. And my fish are now once more swimming in water you can see through.

If I keep up this work rate, I might even get around to updating my website sometime soon...

Sun

It's been a fantastically sunny day today, ruined only slightly by the fact that the sun doesn't permeate the concrete edifice where I work (the heat does though, which is a bit crap). No matter. The sun is now very kindly hanging around for a number of hours after work finishes. Hoorah!!

So it was out with the barbecue, the burgers and the tetra-pack (you know, like milk cartons) of red wine that my brother very kindly brought me back from the continent recently.

On a day such as this who could possibly want to sit indoors and watch TV? Well, in my second shocking confession within as many days, me. I had to return indoors to find out whether or not this years Big Brother is going to be worth a fleeting glance or not... and my opinion is... no. If next Friday is like this Friday, the patio will win over Big Brother. In fact, if it is snowing the patio will still win. Probably...

Bilge

I have a guilty secret. It's something I don't say much about, but now I feel a need to reveal it. I keep fish. I have quite a nice pond, with some reasonably nice fish in it. It's not quite as bad as train spotting, I suppose, but close...

Anyway, this fish keeping lark is not the cheapest hobby in the world. A good pond is an expensive thing. And the paraphenalia involved if you really get into is definitely bank balance challenging. So imagine my dismay when I came home from work the other day to discover that a key part of the whole system, the water pump, had stopped working!

A quick check on the internet revealed that an equivalent replacement pump would cost me close to £200. So if anybody knows any recipes for Koi omelette, etc, please let me know.

Exhausted

You can't get better than a Kwik Fit fitter, or so the adverts used to say. Well, judging by my experiences this week, "Kwik" is clearly not actually in any way related to the word "Quick", and the fact that my new exhaust system appears to be fitted wrongly might give the lie to the "can't get better" part of the catch phrase...

SNAFU

Right, that's all that election malarkey over for another 4 years or so, back to normality again, whatever that is...

Vote (bit of politics alert)

I've pretty much managed to avoid mentioning it so far, but there is an election tomorrow, and I can hold back no longer. I suggest that any Michael Howard supporters (or anybody to the right of Mr Howard, though that surely can't be many who actually possess the skill of reading) leave now.

My message is simple: please vote Labour. Strongly though people may feel about Iraq, this is our election, and I'm sure that Mr Blair will pay the price in due course - his position surely cannot be tenable for much longer no matter what the election result. Vote Lib Dem if Labour stand no chance where you live, by all means, but voting to give Blair a bloody nose is far too likely to give all of us a bloody nose at the hands of Howard and his neo-Thatcherite cronies.

Mattocks!

Yet more DIY has been going on over the last few days here at Chez Valhalla. I've now laid in total about 4 square metres of concrete for my driveway, with just 26 square meters to go. There are two tricky parts to this process, firstly the fact that I want to keep the driveway useable while I work on it; secondly the fact the soil is so compacted after years of being driven and parked on that it's almost as hard as the concrete I'm laying.

The first problem neatly solved itself. It's not possible. Despite displaying reversing skills that would put the World Reversing Champion to shame (is there such a person? If so, why??) I managed to drive straight across some 18 hour old concrete and destroy the edges. Luckily, I then broke my ignition key, thus rendering vehicular travel unviable anyway.

The second problem I've solved by obtaining a mattock. This, for those that don't know, is one of the oldest tools on the planet, a kind of wide bladed pick-axe. It's the sort of thing Ray Mears would use, though obviously, his would be made of deer antlers. In the years that I've been doing things in the garden I have yet to come across a more versatile tool (or as offensive a weapon, for that matter).

Best of all "mattock" sounds almost as much like a swear word as "spatchcock" does.