Nasty

Those well known peddlars of cod-reggae UB40 once sang about a rat in the kitchen. "There's a rat in my kitchen what I'm a going to do", they sang. Its a song that I dislike, as are most of their tunes, but one which I was reminded of last night, when I found a rat in my kitchen. Unlike them, I decided that rather than singing about it, I was going to get rid of it. Cue 10 minutes of drunken rat-chasing involving a broomstick and a large lump-hammer.

After much to-ing and fro-ing, the little bleeder at various times seeking shelter in the back of my freezer and under my cooker, I eventually managed to despatch it in a reasonably humane way by the swift application of my size 12 boot.

So if any of UB40 ever read this, a: please retire; and b: if there's a rat in your kitchen again, stamp on it - that'll fix it.